I grew up receiving constant feedback from my parents. When a popular management book came out a few years ago, I distinctly remember showing my colleagues messages from my mom on how she pioneered radically candid feedback.
Here’s one example:
My mom always gave honest and direct feedback. It was how she showed she cared. Her method of giving feedback was shared by leaders from her generation like Warren Buffet who famously said, “Honesty is a very expensive gift”.
While I agree with the platitude,“feedback is a gift”, as a recipient it often felt like an obtrusive package was dropped off with no warning and often no context, leaving me feeling disoriented.
This also led me to feel nervous anytime I had to give feedback. As an Influencing DISC personality type, my greatest fear is being accused of causing harm. I didn’t want to be responsible for someone else feeling distressed, so I would often avoid giving feedback.
Turns out, I’m not alone.
Many of us feel uncomfortable when giving feedback. And that is totally normal.
Feedback is intended to enable growth and growth is inherently uncomfortable. What’s important is not to avoid or withhold feedback because it’s uncomfortable — that is the most costly mistake you can make as a manager or teammate.
So how you deliver feedback well?
I recently learned of a method in my Grand Quest on Becoming an Effective Manager led by Cristina Georgoulakis and Mindy Zhang that totally transformed the way I give feedback. It helps me figure out exactly what to say by outlining four steps (Situation, Behavior, Impact, Opportunity), and it helps me deliver feedback in the right context.
I loved it so much that I shared with our product team, and we built a tool to help everyone learn The Grand’s Feedback Method.
Use the nifty script generator to help you deliver feedback in a more meaningful way.
Here’s what my mom’s feedback to me looks like using this tool:
We hope this tool helps you feel more comfortable and confident giving feedback, and deepen relationships with the most meaningful people in your life from your teammates to your mom.
Do you have any feedback on our feedback method? I’m all ears. Feel free to reply directly here, or DM me @heyreiwang.
Love this feedback tool? We’d be grateful if you shared it and tagged @TheGrandWorld.