Dear Grand Community,
Recently, my husband and I received a wonderful wedding gift, "Eight Dates: Essential Conversations For a Lifetime of Love", by John and Julie Gottman. I first read about psychologist John Gottman in Malcolm Gladwell's Blink. In it, he talked about Gottman's famous Love Lab where he studied thousands of married couples and, after only 15 minutes, determined with 90% accuracy if they would stay together or get divorced. The premise seemed wild, but through these interviews, he was able to identify negative communication patterns that predict divorce. He called them the Four Horsemen: criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. It turns out that contempt is the most destructive of the bunch. They also discovered that low-risk couples maintain a "magic ratio" of five positive interactions to every one negative interaction during a conflict. Armed with this knowledge, we can discern that kindness, appreciation, and respect (the antidotes to contempt) are some of the keys to a long-lasting relationship.
What do you think are the key ingredients for a lasting marriage? What do you wish you knew about having a successful marriage? Please reply to me directly and let me know your thoughts.
If this is a topic on your mind, we're hosting our next Grand Session on 10/8 with our Grand Guide, Charlene Teare. She just celebrated her 23rd wedding anniversary and can't wait to share insights on what makes her marriage thrive. Learn more and secure your spot here.
We have two enriching conversations coming up this month as well: Living A Complete Life As A Single Person with Karen Wickre on 9/26 and a special collaboration with The Cosmos: Own Your Voice, Build Your Tribe with Melissa Andrada on 9/30.
We're always creating new Sessions at The Grand. Have a question you're navigating? Or, life lessons you want to share? Let us know by replying to this email. We're here to help you attend or host the session that's right for you.